The World According to You, My Two-Year-Old

I’m holding on to the last few weeks of this excruciating bliss before you turn 3… holding on to it and wishing it all away at the same time. Because today, you caused me every emotion of all time; from maniacal rage to literal tears of joy.

Being two isn’t easy, I get it. Your world changes on a daily basis based on the millions of little things that you learn; things that are exciting and things that are down-right confusing. We both need our share of time-outs in this crazy game of life… but tonight I am taking a time-out to hold on to the incredibly adorable way you see the world today… because as much as I can’t wait for you to stop acting bat-shit crazy, I’m really going to miss this.

You love your daddy fiercely. In your world, he goes to work everyday to get paid in shiny quarters. He uses those quarters to buy you “bumgalls” from the “bumgall machine” at Kroger. It’s what you live for: car-carts, faces-juice, bumgalls and balloons at the checkout. One would think you’d have won a trip to Disney when you find out we need groceries.

Right now, you love hanging out with us. I know that it won’t last forever, so I try to embrace the chaos that comes with running errands as a family of 4. On any given Saturday, if you’re given the choice of where to go you’ll surely pick Home Depot or Costco. A trip to Home Depot warrants test driving all of the riding lawnmowers and picking out paint samples to take home. At Costco, we MUST visit the bathroom and stop for a slice of pizza on the way out (that you’ll insist on eating with plastic silverware). If we happen to need gas, you’ll beg daddy to take you in and pick out a bug-juice.

You think the word “poop” is hilarious… but you’ll make sure to correct my use of the word “butt” to “bottom” without hesitation.

When you start a tantrum, sometimes you’ll yell for Spiderman to save you.

“Cheechos” and “Yougrit” are your favorite snacks.

You think my hair is purple because I ate all of your crayons.

You love running around naked and dancing to Boogie Fever. And we honestly don’t know why.

You refer to me as “My Majesty” and your dad as “Brandon.”

You demand your privacy in the bathroom, giving you far more dignity than I’ve had in the last 3 years.

Sometimes I find you hiding under the table with my scissors… or the barbecue lighter… and I wonder how long it will be before someone finds me to be an unfit mother.

You’ve willingly put yourself in time-out on more than one occasion – prior to any crime (confirming that attacks on your sister are, in fact, premeditated.)

Occasionally you have nightmares and cry for us in the middle of the night. In fact, last night you were distraught over finding Minnie’s shoes. It breaks my momma heart to hear you cry.

You love going to the park. We used to spell it out, but you caught on quickly and now just ask to go to the “P-R-K.”

Your social sensor doesn’t exist. You’ll tell people if they smell bad. You call them out for littering. You scream at them to move out of your way in the grocery store. While we’re working on manners, I still love it.

At bedtime each night, we say who we love before we turn out the lights. And no matter how hectic our day has been; no matter how much I’ve screwed up… you always tell me you love me (and daddy and Claire and the gingerbread man) and it fixes everything.

Sweet girl, you have learned to do so much for yourself in the last year; and while I am in awe of your independence and capability, I find myself shocked that you’re really done being a baby. You have taught me how to love like I’ve never known, and how to walk away when things are too much. You have pushed every limit ever given to you, and you don’t take no for an answer. Right now, it’s maddening… but I pray that you never lose your fire; your fearlessness and your passion. Your voice is so strong and so important.

You are inquisitive and smart, irrational and explosive, snuggly and sweet. You make me laugh until I cry, and cry until I laugh. You are everything a two-year-old should ever be and then some.

You are simply wonderful: today, tomorrow, always. 



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